2009-05-31

Today is  my pa’s birthday, his 50-birthday.

I didn’t make a call or something. Smoehow guilty I feel but I have decided. I wouldn’t, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t ? Nothing is appropriate.

” Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent”, it’s Wittgenstein, but I know it is fucking far from reality.

Things seem a bit different?

Since Sina post the ads that ” Talk to Paul Krugman–the laureate of Nobel prize in economics” I was looking forward to the show and utterly curious about what his tongue will be. This morning (or saying noon?) I read this post in Paul’s blog and realise that the ” Chinese specilised socialism” has never changed.

I repost the article here…….. 

A brief moment of sanity

OK, I’ve got a small break in my trip. Right now I’m in … actually, given what the past week has been like, I’m not going to say, since I really really don’t want reporters calling.

I hope that when China develops a bit further, it will revise its notion of how long a speech plus discussion should last. 2 1/2 hours, twice a day, plus meetings with umpteen business and government officials, kind of wears you down.

And yes, as some commentators noticed, the posters did read “Great prophet in China.” Embarrassing.

A bit of macro in my next post. Then I really do have to grade term papers.

PS: And yes, it did feel like Lost in Translation — including the disorienting appearance on a TV show (on the day I arrived, no less.) No Suntory ads, though.

 

我的混蛋邏輯

到成都已經是四天五夜,其間種種,有失落,有懷念,有悵惘,有不滿,有憤怒,有喜悅,而獨獨沒有後悔兩個字.

許多天走在街上捫心自問,何以至此,何以曾經知己般的友人竟是相對無言而怒目以待.是我自私反復一再發作?而領悟到的,是這城市予我的太多記憶,如此私密,我不願在這記憶裏繼續踉蹌,也絕不容別人再扶我一把.

三年前流浪一樣的旅行,這裡是起點.臨上車,喜說如果15天以後你還沒回來,我就一路去找你.十幾天後我毫髮無損回到成都,隨身刀子唯一的用處就是削水果和割繩子,甚至在接近五千米的雀兒山埡口連缺氧的滋味都沒嚐到.不但沒有損,反而行囊里多了一面摺扇,心裡多了一個與烘進兄的約定,并認定就此海闊天空任我行,怎料到這牽絆如今還在.

越是留戀,越是走得更遠.每次旅行的藉口都是”找個清淨的地方躲兩天”,四年來我在全國各地”清淨”,藉口,緣由,永遠是那一個,而我也總是做這樣無用的蠢事.

無論如何,T對我的信任和友誼是怎樣也救不回來了.